


Red is for violence

by aluinihi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Gifts, LietRus, M/M, Secret Santa, rusliet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 02:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13157361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aluinihi/pseuds/aluinihi
Summary: Secret Santa for arachnoidmater on Tumblr!Prompt: Russia giving Liet gifts.





	Red is for violence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arachnoidmater](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=arachnoidmater).



_He felt the waves touching his feet and soon the water was reaching his hips. The body cut through the white foam..._

Toris woke up feeling asphyxiated. For a second or two, the bedsheets had the texture of broken glass and the pillow seemed like pointing rocks. His muscles tensed and sweat ran over his bare neck. It took him a moment to just remember.

_I am at Russia’s house._

The brunette stood up ignoring his shaking legs and started dressing, rushing to cover up the emotional damage caused by the nightmare. The bedroom was small and looked like any other staff’s bedroom, with only one bed, a small drawer and an even smaller table (where Toris would pill many books and paperwork). But the Lithuanian’s had another thing added to it: a mirror. A full-body one, with a frame decorated with silver arabesques that reminded Toris of the winter wind. It was a gift, given by Russia himself, when Lithuania was annexed to the Soviet Union territory. He was the only nation who had the pleasure to receive a memento from _the_ Ivan Braginsky. That was what the mirror was, a _memento_.

And at the bottom of the memento, on the floor, was a small brown package. Toris took it in his hand, the wrapping was poorly done, the paper was apparently a page torn from a book and seemed a bit old and worn out. The Lithuanian opened it with care, feeling the paper almost dissolve in his fingers. Inside, was hair clip. Almost weightless, with golden rue flowers fused along it. It was delicate and for a moment Toris was afraid it would break.

_What am I supposed to do with this?_

Toris hated when Russia did this sort of thing. Buying him gifts, that’s it. The blond had given him various different objects, from accessories to Russian books, and all ended up in the same place: in a box under his bed. The Lithuanian set aside every single one, without hesitation.

But, for some reason, the only thing Toris could do was admire the ornament.

It was gold, undoubtedly. Toris took a moment to wonder how Ivan had gotten it. Did he buy it? Did he take it from someone? Did he already have it? Rue was his national flower. Why Ivan would bother finding something so personal? The structure was gracious and feigned an excessive fragility. The three golden flower laid along a dozen of minuscule branches, in all their delicacy and perfection of details. In the center of each flower there was a small green gem, shining and almost transparent. Toris was dumbstruck with how beautiful it was. It was almost impossible to imagine the Russian holding such piece of art and wrapping it.

Enchanted, the Lithuanian a lock of hair, twirled and held it in place on the side of his head with the clip. Moving his head around, Toris admired how the adornment complimented him just...

Toris hated how much he liked what he saw in the mirror.

He turned to the door and suppressed the nausea, exiting his room and hoping to be overloaded with work.

  
•••

  
It was late night. Lithuania found that day specially pleasing. Not only because he had been so busy he couldn’t think about anything else, but because Russia was nowhere to be seen. A full day with no one staring at him, no creepy childish smiles, no invasion of personal space, _no Ivan_. What a pleasing day. And no, he wasn’t interested in the other country’s whereabouts.

The brunette reached his room and took his clothes off, putting his pyjamas on. He pulled the hair clip out and held it in his open hand, thinking that at some point throughout the day it should have lost some of it’s beauty and he would be finally able to hide it under the bed, but he was strongly mistaken. Staring at the jewel, a chill ran up his body. For a long moment, Toris felt exposed, as if that simple object could metamorphose into a knife and cut him open. He threw it to the wall and it didn’t break.

The Lithuanian walked to his bed feeling ill and disturbed. He turned the lights off and closed his eyes with strength, somehow believing that it would help him fall asleep. Which nightmare he would have for tonight? Dying? Killing? Seeing his brothers dying? Killing his brothers?

A knock on the door made him jump.

“Who’s there?”

No answer, just more knocks.

“Who is there?”

Silence.

Toris stood up with silent movements.

“Raivis?”

The voice that answered was a bit deeper than his brother’s.

“It’s me.”

_Russia_.

“What do you need?”

“Please, Lithuania, open the door.”

“No.”

Ivan groaned, “I need to give you something.”

Lithuania’s blood boiled in anger.

“I don’t want another one of your _gifts_.”

“Please,” Ivan took a deep breath, “Please, Toris, open the door.”

He did. And what he saw made him regret his choice.

His heart stopped for a second just by looking at the taller nation. Russia was covered in bruises. Bottom lip split, nose bleeding and his shoulder was in a not so normal position. The pink scarf was stained with dried blood. One of his eyes was swollen, but the intensity of the stare was as strong as ever. Toris felt shattered and Lithuania felt empowered.

Ivan extended him a bouquet with small red flowers that Toris didn’t know the name. Some of them had lost petals or had broken stems, but it still made the Lithuanian clutch his chest as if he was having a heart-attack. It surely felt like one.

He whispered, “What happened?”

Russia kept a stern semblance that made Toris want to cry.

“Take it,” he pressed, “Put it in a vase, flowers need—”

Lithuania shrieked with how close they were to each other.

“I know what flowers need!”

Ivan took two steps back. Tears started flowing from the amethyst eyes and Toris restrained from wiping them.

“Tell me what happened and I’ll take care of the flowers.”

The bouquet was held so tightly, that Ivan’s knuckles went white.

“It’s all my fault.”

Russia shoved the red flowers into the other nation’s chest and Lithuania closed the door with all his strength.

The bouquet laid in pieces all over the floor.

_How am I supposed to sleep like this?_

 

•••

 

Toris woke up to the chill wind coming from his bedroom’s window. He stayed still, feeling the cold kiss that nature was blowing directly to his body. Closing his eyes slowly, he let the thoughts and worries ruin what could have been a nice morning. He thought of Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, Russia, _Ivan_. And he just couldn’t stop _thinking_.

What happened that day? What Ivan did? Or what _Russia_ did? Who did that? Was it a threat to the Soviet Union or Ivan?

Silently, Toris prayed it was for the first.

Finally standing up, the brunette got ready for another tiring day. He stared at himself in the mirror to the point his face and body started to distort and he begun feeling uncomfortable with his appearance. Lithuania ran his fingers through his hair and found it depressing. He threw a look to the opposite wall and saw the hair clip with the rue flowers. He put it on and when he looked in the mirror again he felt even less appealing.

He exited the room thinking about how he would get rid of all the red petals on the ground.

Russia’s house is cold. Not only because of it’s temperature, but because it’s _impersonal_. Looks like it could be a museum: people stare at exotic stuff, get marvelled and then leave and forget everything. There’s nothing like a photography, a decoration given by a loved one or... There’re ornaments and mobilia, of course, after all the house is big and pompous. Although, none of them have feelings attached to them. And if they had had, the meaning had long been lost. Just like in a museum.

Toris was supposed to just clean today. No paperwork. This was a little bit disappointing to the man, he thought it’s easier to forget when he had something important to concentrate, like documents. While cleaning, otherwise, his mind could wander to places he didn’t like.

He was designated to clean Ivan’s personal office. Mostly because he was _the only one allowed in there_ , yes. Rubbing the marble table with an old piece of cloth, Toris felt his eyelids heavy and his arms were slowly losing rhythm. He was not allowed to sleep the previous night, too focused on red petals and redder blood. That night, his whole body convulsed in a feverish hatred mixed with worry. Without any idea of how Ivan had ended that way, the only thing he could do was wonder. Why the gifts? Why the flowers? Why all that blood?

The brunette could still feel the strength of the Russian pushing his chest. How the fingers pressed so firmly against him, never letting the ruined bouquet go. He remembered the tears and the sobs and the pained look in Ivan’s eyes and it was all _oh so cold_. He wished he could go back to the fateful instant and wipe the watery pearls off.

Toris’ shoulders involuntarily shrieked, his lungs felt empty and a shrill sound escaped his lips. Covering lips with a pale hand, the skinny-looking man allowed himself to silently panic. Pathetic and weak and _in love_ , how could he have done something like this.

_Traitor_.

His eyes closed with strength and Lithuania forced himself to stand upright.

“You are using it.”

Lithuania opened his eyes but just kept staring straight ahead. The autumn-ish appearance of the world outside the room’s window suddenly seemed interesting.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, sir.”

He could feel Russia getting closer and closer. The taller man steps sounded awkward, like he was limping. Toris risked a look.

The blond was clean now. His hair combed, clothes with no stains, the shoulder seemed to be back to a normal position. The left eye had acquired a purple colour and his bottom lip was red and swollen. It seemed that he had bruised his ankle, because he was using a cane as support, steps slow and painful.

“The clip. You’re wearing it.”

Toris felt his cheeks burn and he resumed cleaning the marble.

“Yes, sir.”

“There’s no one else here, stop calling me like that.”

Russia supported himself on the table, letting go of the cane and leaving it next to the wall. The strong, warm body stood too close to the brunette’s. Too awfully close. The silence imposed by the smaller wasn’t sufficiently uncomfortable for the Russian, so of course Ivan would make it worse.

Toris felt fingers touch the top of his head and he immediately froze.

By only moving his eyes, he fixated his gaze on the blond right next to him. Ivan had an empty expression, free of all emotions, inclusively the typical childish one. The man ran his fingers above the brunette hair until they reached the hair clip. The touch lingered there, following the pattern formed by the thin golden stems.

“Thank you,” whispered Ivan, “I thought you were going to throw it away.”

Lithuania moved aside, increasing slightly the distance between them. He couldn’t go to far away because it hurt, but he couldn’t stand to close because it hurt. He finally allowed himself to turn and stare directly at the taller nation.

“What happened yesterday?”

Russia shrugged and looked away.

Toris decided to let go.

“Why did you brought me flowers?”

_Why red?_

“Because I thought you would appreciate it.”

Toris let go of the cloth and crossed his arms. His body language screamed _get away from me_ and he was very aware of that. Ivan was sure to ignore it.

“The flowers or the gesture?”

Ivan shrugged once again and his eyes danced over the brunette for a very brief instant, showing too much vulnerability for someone as strong as that.

“Both, I guess.”

“Why?”

The blond didn’t answer and Toris thought that maybe he just wanted him to go away as well.

“I have to—“

“Don’t go, Toris.”

Green eyes locked into violet ones for the very first time and Toris saw nothing but raw violence.

“I was fighting.”

“I could,” he stopped himself and corrected, “I can tell that.”

Ivan’s brows furrowed and Lithuania found himself tensing in fear.

“You don’t want to know why I was fighting?”

_Yes, I do._

“No need to tell me.”

Russia smiled in the scary way only he was able to.

“I was fighting for _your_ honour.”

Lithuania breath stopped midway but he managed to keep his posture: upright and stern.

“I said no need to tell me.”

The smile only grew and now his shoulders slumped.

“They called you names, Liet.”

“I don’t care.”

“They said you were a slut, letting your hair grow that way only so someone could pull it.”

They brunette shivered and Russia stepped closer, without limping at all.

“They told me you were willing to starve yourself for me, like a bitch would do for the man who finances her.”

Lithuania’s hands closed in tight fists.

“I am not, and you are very aware of that.”

Russia laughed, loud and obnoxious, mocking the skinny nation. Toris tried to remember when he crossed the line.

“I told them so! But they insisted that you were a very obedient little puppy! They were amazed with how you come everyday to my office only so I can—“

The sound of skin hitting skin reverberated in the room.

Ivan lowered his head. The fresh red mark over his already bruised face seemed painful. Toris eyes burnt with tears and he let a shaky breath out.

“I said no need to tell me.”

The blond no longer smiled.

“Don’t go, Toris.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Oh.”

Ivan put his arms around himself, in some kind of self-hug that made Toris’ heart ache.

“I’m sorry, Toris.”

The blond refused to look at him and Toris considered touching his arm.

“What?,” the question escaped his lips before he could think better, “I mean, why?”

“For saying those things. I don’t think you are...” he seemed visibly uncomfortable and Toris treasured that, “Well, I don’t think it.”

“But they do, right?”

Silence came back.

“Who’s ‘they’, Ivan?”

And silence stayed.

The taller one decide it was time to pull the brunette closer. He laced Toris’ waist with both arms, circling and locking them so to keep him from running away. But Toris didn’t want to run away. Ivan nuzzled his neck, breathing in heavily, and Toris let his own hands rest against strong shoulders.

“Stupid government people.”

Lithuania snorted. When were “government people” not stupid? Always thinking they, individuals, could do the best for a whole community. Or just taking advantage of their power positions.

“They won’t hurt you, _tsvetok_ , I won’t let them.”

Toris’ brows furrowed.

“Do they want to hurt me?”

Ivan hid his head on the curve of the smaller man’s neck and nodded slightly.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

_Yes, you do._

Toris felt dampness on his neck and he didn’t need to think hard to understand that Ivan was crying. The blond was sensitive under that hard shell. And Toris didn’t have to do much to crack the walls Ivan built around his emotions. Rubbing the blond’s upper arms, he realised he had no idea that people from the Soviet Union administration were bullying Ivan. After all, the man was not very keen on talking. Toris ran his fingers over blond hair, feeling the soft texture under his feelings and wondering for a second if Ivan have ever thought of growing it long.

“I believe you, you know. That you won’t let them hurt me.”

Ivan let out an unimaginable sound: a sob.

“What is the point of making this promise, if I am the one who inspires fear on you?”

Toris did not answer, so the blond felt free to keep going.

“I say many hurtful things, _tsvetok_.”

“Yes.”

“I try to manipulate you.”

“Agreed.”

“I would never lay a hand on you, but I threaten to anyway.”

“Indeed.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

Silence. They stood there for a long moment, Ivan letting watery droplets fall from his eyes and rubbing them over Toris’ neck, and Toris slowly caressing Ivan’s hair. It felt like an unusually long moment for nations that already lived through centuries.

“I think, Ivan, that you are more deserving of me than anyone else.”

“Why?”

_Because I love you. I committed this mistake, I am a sinner and here I stand on my private Hell, holding you while you cry. I am so depraved that I want to stay like this forever._ But he said nothing at all.

“Would you kiss me, Toris?”

The brunette put his hands over Ivan’s neck and trying to push his head up, but the taller stood still.

“Not now, _tsvetok_ , I am ugly now. But we could go on a date later.”

Lithuania smiled.

“The scars fit you well.”

Russia lifted himself, standing upright though never letting go of Toris. Like this, the blond seemed strong and powerful, entirely different from the small child that was sobbing into his neck minutes ago.

Indeed, the scars fit him well.

“Kiss me, then.”

“You lip is bruised.”

“It will not hurt.”

Toris’ hands slid from neck to jaw, and he held Ivan’s face like that for a few seconds, until he finally pulled Ivan down for a kiss. The Russian clung to the smaller body and Toris learnt about a good kind of suffocation. Ivan tasted like pines, tea and cold nights spent in front of a fireplace. His lips weren’t soft, but the kiss was slow and there was no fight for dominance. Toris massaged Ivan’s tongue with his own and he felt Ivan moan.

The two detached their mouths breathing heavily. Ivan stood there, face mere centimetres away for Toris’, eyes closed and slightly smiling. The Lithuanian let himself stare at the man’s eyelashes, a blond so light that could be mistaken for skin, and the way his brows twitched a little bit.

“I love you, Toris, I love you more than everyone and everything.”

Toris smiled and pulled him for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed the reading!


End file.
